A THRIVE Podcast

Welcome to our fourth episode on Resilience, as part of UoL's Thrive Podcast.

Missed the previous episodes? No worries, find the playlist here.

Listen below, or scroll down for the episode transcript!

Transcript

Hello! Welcome back to our seven part series on Resilience, we’re over halfway through now, this is episode four, which is on the power of thoughts! In the previous episode we discussed mastering attention and how resisting our negative bias and, instead, focusing on the positive, makes us feel better as well as helps to increase our resilience.

The content of this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. This is not medical advice and it is not a substitute for treatment or diagnosis. Please contact your general practitioner for professional medical advice.

As always, I’m Gemma, I’m part of the Student Health and Wellbeing team at the University of London and this is a THRIVE podcast. If you need a transcript please go to campus life dot London dot ac dot uk. Okay, let’s get started.

How you think about life influences how you experience life. Like with the weather, we’re not always in control. But, you do get to choose your thoughts about the things you experience. Being able to look at a stressful event from different angles is always possible. Positive thoughts equal positive feelings.

So, if we think back to the sailboat metaphor, we know that we don’t have the power to change the weather, but we do have the power to change how we think about the weather. You’re the captain!

If you’re a captain who thinks they can’t handle bad weather, you’ll feel fearful, doubtful. So, you may stop sailing all together, or swerve around in the opposite direction, away from your destination, your goals.

On the other hand, if you’re the kind of captain that keeps in mind that the storm is only temporary, you’ll better your sailing skills. You’ll learn to weather the storm, stay hopeful, and keep moving towards your ideal destination.

It’s not that we always have to be super positive – life is painful. Upsetting things do happen. And, on top of that, negative thoughts are automatic! Remember our negativity bias? You’re only human.

So, it’s not about trying to push away these negative thoughts or ignore them. That often makes them worse and makes you more likely to spiral. Rather, treat these thoughts like clouds. They come and they go. It’s a lot easier and less energy intensive to simply watch the clouds go by, rather than to try and get rid of them. Observe your thoughts and watch the clouds instead. This is the first step to creating more helpful thoughts.

Once you’ve done some cloud watching and have become aware of your thoughts, you can ask yourself: Is this thought helpful? If you decide that it’s not, from there you can generate a more helpful thought.

When we experience stress, it oftens feels like a threat. You have a thought like, “How am I even going to deal this? I can’t do it!” This can make you feel fear, despair, hopelessness. You feel like a captain who’s out of their depth, like you can’t sail through the storm and you’ll end up sinking.

An alternative we have is “challenge appraisals”. When we face challenging obstacles, we can instead choose to think “I can do it. I believe in myself and I can get through this.” Once we think this, not only are we feeling positive, but we can use the event as a learning opportunity. You’re a captain who sails through the bad weather and improves in their sailing skills. This has been a chance for personal growth.

An example of a threat appraisal is “This is going to ruin my life”. On the other hand, the challenge appraisal could be “This will test my adaptability.” Another threat appraisal is “I have no idea how I’m going to deal with this.” The challenge appraisal would be “I can learn the skills to handle this.”

Another helpful way of thinking is “benefit finding”. This is where, through practice, we find the positive side of a challenging or negative situation. The more we find benefits, the more we become a captain who can see the benefits in a difficult journey. We don’t neglect our struggles, we recognise them and allow ourselves to see both the up and downside of our circumstances.

For example, you get fired from a job. A benefit of this is that you are now given the chance to reevaluate whether the job was actually meaningful to you and you can find something that suits you better. Another negative event could be the passing of a loved one. In this time, you can also realise that you’ve been loved and supported by your community, that you’re able to get through difficult events, and that you should be making the most of your life, it’s finite.

Lastly, we have optimism. When we think optimistically – having hopeful or positive thoughts – we then expect good things to happen to us. You might think “It didn’t go well this time, but it can go well next time” or that something good and right for you is coming up.

This is the kind of captain with a positive outlook on life, even when the waves are choppy and the sky is grey.  Stormy weather is temporary, and sunnier days are ahead.

Thinking optimistically does not mean we fantasize about the impossible. We’re thinking within the limits of reality, rather than beyond them. If you want to succeed next time, then you need to put the work in. Optimism isn’t about relying on luck, it’s about also understanding how you can improve your circumstances.

After being badly injured, a realistic optimistic thought is “This hurts, but the pain is temporary.” Or, if you fail an exam, you can think “I got it wrong this time ‘round, but I can succeed next time.”

Remember, positive thinking isn’t about rejecting or ignoring negative thoughts. It’s about observing these negative thoughts and experiencing the emotions still. While also being able engage with positive thoughts. Bad things happen, negative thoughts come up, and that’s completely normal. But once you have a negative thought, remember to ask yourself if it’s helpful or not. Then, generate helpful thoughts.

Okay, here’s your Call to Action: Do some cloud watching – observe your thoughts. The more you observe, the easier it is to then produce more helpful thoughts. You don’t need to experience something challenging to observe your thoughts, either. Take a moment, a few minutes, close your eyes, and note how your body feels. Then, ask yourself, “Does this thought make me happy, sad, frustrated? Am I worried or hopeful? Is this thought helpful? What do I want to do with this thought?”

Next, you try generating helpful thoughts, finding the benefits and being optimistic. Once you’ve had practice observing, when it comes to a challenging situation, and you have negative thoughts, then ask yourself: “What, instead, is a helpful thought? And what are the themes of the unhelpful thoughts that are coming up?” and then, “What are the upsides of this situation? How can I learn from it? And how can I be better equipped for the future?” Keep notes of these observations and thoughts in your logbook, so you can come back to your notes at any time.

Thank you for listening to episode four, next time we’ll focus on having the motivation to push forward. As always, check out our Campus Life site, follow us on Instagram at wellatuol, and keep thriving.